Julie Wells

Snow White Is Not My Fairytale

Juile — Mon, 02 May 2011 14:54:26 +0000

So your life isn’t a fairytale. Welcome to what normal people like to call “real life”. Fairytales are fiction. They are made up stories that intend to bring us some light comfort and maybe even teach a lesson or two.

As a counselor, I’ve worked with my share of women who have been unhappy in their marital relationship. Most women are able to connect with the root of the issue when they identify the expectations of their romantic relationship, and then deem those expectations to be totally unrealistic.

Let’s face it….The Bachelor is a scripted sitcom. Did I just hear a collective “gasp” in cyberspace? Yes, friend and neighbors, scripted out the proverbial wazoo! That’s right…it isn’t normal to go on a date and fly over France in a helicopter to eat a gourmet meal on the Eiffel Tower while be serenaded by Josh Groban. More realistic…you’re in your minivan with chicken nuggets roaming the floorboard, listening to the radio, and heading to any restaurant without golden arches.

We may not be able to live a fairytale, but we can enjoy fairytale moments. Like a walk by the river, a night out on the town, or a romantic getaway.

Here are two rules for creating a “fairytale” moment.

1. You must tell your spouse exactly what you want to do. Please don’t say something vague like, “I would like to go on a romantic date.” For a man, this is like solving a rubix cube in 30 seconds or less. If you want flowers, then you must say, “I would like for you to buy me some flowers….not from the gas station.” It’s okay if we tell our spouse what we want. Remember that it’s hard to please someone when you don’t know what they want.

2. Plan your own “fairytale moment”. Sometimes we women act so stupidly girly. We say dumb things like, “It won’t mean as much if I plan it.” Sure it will! You’ll get to enjoy a nice moment with your husband, and you will choose to enjoy the time you spent together.

So there you go! Get working. Talk specifically to your spouse about your idea of romance, or take the reigns yourself. Most importantly….ENJOY!

Next Topic: “What is a wazoo, and why do we have one?”

Mothers Unite

Juile — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 01:53:25 +0000

Why wait?

Juile — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 02:46:14 +0000

1. Teens who wait are more likely to experience stable marriages. Teens who have sex outside of marriage increase the likelihood of adding instability to their future marriage. (heritage.org)

2. Teens who wait are more likely to report feeling “happy”.Teens who have sex outside of marriage have higher rates of depression. (heritage.org)

3. Teens who wait are less likely to have regrets.
2/3 of teens who have sex outside of marriage will regret this decision. (heritage.org)

4. Teens who wait are more likely to grow to be financially stable. In 2004, 5.5 % of the general population lived in poverty, while 28.4% of
women with children lived in poverty. (Nat’l Poverty Center, npc.umich.edu)

5. Teens who wait are more likely to grow to have healthy families. Children who grow up in single parent households are 3x more likely to drop out of high school, 5x more likely to live in poverty, and 12x more likely to go to jail. (makeitlast.org)

6. Teens who wait are more likely to graduate from high school. Pregnant teens and single parents are more likely to drop out of high school. When compared to high school graduates, high school dropouts will make $200,000 less in their lifetime. They will make $800,000 less than college graduates. (focuas.com)

7. Teens who wait are more likely to be physically healthy. AIDS spreads twice as quickly among uneducated girls. (unitus.com)

8. Teens who wait are more safe from STD’s. 1 out of every 5 condoms fail. Some STD’s are lifetime diseases because they have no cure. (unitus.com)

9. Teens who wait are more likely to protect their future fertility. The Centers for Disease Control
estimates that 25% of sexually active teens will get
an STD this year, and these diseases may interfere
with future fertility. 80% of teens do not even know
they have an STD, and do not know that they are
passing it to their partner. (members.tripod.com – Abstinence Educators Network)

10. Teens who wait honor God, respect themselves, and look forward to a healthy sexual relationship with the spouse God has designed just for them.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jesus said….If you love me, keep my commandments. John 14:15

Courtney Fischer of ABC 25

Juile — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 02:45:02 +0000

What I saw today I will never forget. A mass burial witnessed by about fifty of us. For the Haitians in attendance it was just another day after the quake: their faces emotionless while bodies were thrown in a pit in front of us. For others there, they were focused on a job- the men with shovels ready to dig, a pastor playing the trumpet. For me it was…inhumane. The new way of life for Haitians post quake. It was a day that will forever stay with me. It makes me question what’s to become of this country? These people?
We arrived at Titanyien late afternoon. The morning was filled with casual stops throughout Port-au-Prince: the orphanage pastor picking people up, dropping them off. He seems to know everyone and always wants to help.
It took two hours to get thirty miles outside the city. I can’t begin to get into what we saw on the drive- internet is cutting out. outside the city we turn down a road of rocks. It’s barely drivable. The clear see to the left and desert mountains to my right. It’s amazing a country filled with so much natural beauty is enduring so much pain and suffering. The smell of burning flesh and rotten bodies is not far away.
The van stops. Ahead are piles of rock and rubble. Look closer. There’s a foot, a hand, an elbow. I see a man’s face twisted in agony– the moment of pain and terror captured on his face. Human bodies: bloated and recently dumped. sand and gravel barely covers the dead people. We get back in the van and drive further down the road.
40,000. The pastor we’re with says that’s the number of people buried in this valley after the quake. I learn bodies have been dumped here for centuries–a cemetery for the poor the pastor says. Old graves are individually marked with crosses. Then I see the deep pits: at least fifteen deep. Moments later local men descended from the mountains carrying shovels. They show up every Thursday. The job pays about two dollars. More if they bring their own tools. The busses start arriving, carrying bodies by the truck load. Masked doctors start unloading body bags and cardboard coffins. The first coffin lowered into the pit buckles in the middle: the weight of more than one body makes the box collapse and an arm peeks out.
Body after body is lowered into the five graves. A band plays “oh when the saints go marching in.” the pastor from this orphanage plays the trumpet.
A Catholic priest helps carry the body bags. He says a short prayer in Creole and English. I ask him if he has time to answer a few questions. The priest says he has no time–he must get back to the hospital to work triage. The whole service lasts barely 30 minutes.
Then the sound of crashing dirt. The men with shovels dig and rocks hit the plastic body bags. They disappear almost as fast as they were laid to rest.
It feels disgusting and dirty witnessing this. But there is a sense of routine about it all. The priest looks tired–not sad, no angry, just weary. Nothing shocks these people anymore. The workers and the band will be back soon. So will the priest. No families–no one knows who the people in the body bags are. They will disappear a statistic. The rebuilding of this city must begin soon. These people need hope